Tarun Reflex

December 31, 2007

Happy New Year !

I’m always curious about other people’s New Year’s Resolutions. It’s always interesting to know the way other minds work, and often enough it also endorses an old belief of mine – that the world is really a funnier place than we think.

Here are some resolutions, in no particular order, that I came across and found, well, interesting :

1. I will not look at boys – 13 year old girl

2. I will not tell the same story at every get together- Incorrigible bore

3. I will eat ice-cream at midnight – every midnight of the year, I mean, not just this one – Ice-cream Connoisseur

4. I will not let the dog hog the pillow, growl at me from the sofa, and snatch the bun from my plate – this year she’s going to learn that I’m the Alpha of the house and only I get to do certain things – Owner of untrained dog.

5. I won’t worry so much – Fuss Budget

6. I need to start worrying a little – The Merry Spirit

7. I will cut my hair – Longhaired person

8. I will grow my hair – Shorthaired person

9. I will shave my head – Hairy person

10. I will polish my pate – Bald person

11. So many men, so little time – will make more time – Young Woman

12. This year I’m going to be kind – Unkind Person

13. This year I’m going to stop being so nice – Person who overdid it.

14. I will quack like a duck first thing in the morning and last thing at night – Donald Duck Fan

15. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant – Lazy and Smart Fellow

16. I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll TELL him he stinks! – Diffident classmate of Lazy and Smart Fellow

17. I’m going to learn cusswords in different languages – Expert Cusser in Own Language.

18. I don’t need no STINKING resolutions! – Resolute Stinker

19. If I see a UFO I won’t tell anybody about it – Spoilsport

20. I will remember that Muffin Day is on the 29th of every month – Muffin Lover

21. I will not tell lies – 10 year old liar.

22. I will be more imaginative – 30 year old ‘Creative Person’

23. I will rename my dog something really strange and long – Exotically Inclined Person

24. I resolve to be nice to people without bringing Jesus into the equation – Secular Person

25. With that cloned cow having given birth and everything, I resolve to pay more attention to where my food comes from this next year – Organic Eater

26.I hope to be able to make people think happy thoughts when they think of me – Goody Good Two Shoes

27. I will go on long ego trips – Honest Egoist

28. I will prognosticate that I will probably procrastinate engaging in all the objectives I have premeditated for this approaching twelvemonth – Honest Wordsmith

29. I will have noble thoughts – Impure Thinker

30. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size and screech in her ear after my human has finished watching a horror movie. – Pet Cat

31. I will not bite the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.- Pet Dog

32. I’ll help the Green House Effect and stop throwing my rubbish into the school drain – Tween boy

33. I will stop throwing water down from the top floor at our school at the people passing below – Tween boy

34. I will not hang around girls – they think you love them and that sucks – Tween boy

35. I will not let lose my bodily functions right when somebody is walking underneath – Crow on the topbranch of the tree

36. I will flit gently into the night – Fruit Bat

37. I will never squat again with my spurs on – Cowboy

38. I will never again smack a man that’s been chewing tobacco – Cowboy

39. I will remember that life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Experienced Bouncer

40. I will remember it isn’t worthwhile wrestling with pigs – you get all muddy and don’t the pigs just love it! – Experienced Mud Wrestler and Pig Keeper.

41. I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously – Me


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